Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Stretch Me Lord

So I've been pretty busy lately. Not my usual mommy/wifey duties, but rather babysitter duties ;) that's right. I'm a back up babysitter. I've been picking up some days this month and last for a good friend of mine. I will be honest with you, it's not easy. By no means do I feel God has gifted me in this area. Some days I just want to pass out, mentally exhausted!

But, I need the extra income and I like helping out when I can. It's good for my kids to have other kids to play with and really; it's good for ME. I'm good at structure and discipline but just the very nature of "care taking" is complex for me. It doesn't come natural for me. And so each day I'm talking this over to God asking Him for grace and reminders of His lessons in every situation I'm put in.

Many times I pray for opportunities to be a help, to grow in patience, kindness, to be a better aunt, friend or Mom. I really just want to be more like HIM. And during this busier/trying time in my life I'm reminded that we just don't magically become like HIM, we grow into HIM. We are put in harder situations to learn dependence on HIM, to learn how Faithful He really is. We learn the ugly sides of us and how much we NEED Him to make us over. We learn His strength in OUR weakness. He can use anyone or anything to teach, mold, stretch, and grow us. He's using 5 little kids for me, like He used a burning bush! So many incidences in my life, big and small but all relevant.

Yep I got all of this from "babysitting." I want to be stretched. I want God to make something of me that I don't think I am. I want to be a blessing to these children every chance I get. I don't think I'll go work at a daycare after this, but I want to walk away better than I started. It's like when I graduated from college I so badly wanted to work at a church. Or anything Christian related. I NEVER got the chance to. Every one of those applications were denied.

This is what I learned: God doesn't want me working with the "saved" he wants me out in those streets with people who may not know HIM. Every job since 2006 has been set up that way. I wanted it a little easier, working with people who already knew and loved HIM, but He had different plans for me.

And so I know these babysitting days are temporary but I want to take advantage of the opportunity. I want to work at my favorite store or at a gym, but for now this is what it is. The girls are great, well behaved but it's still hard caring for 5 little kids. 5 under 4. I want to be a blessing to them spiritually and in the natural. I want to take the time to LISTEN to them (and my kids) and teach them things they didn't know before meeting me. I want to love on them while their parents are working.

Listen, I'm no nun or Mother Theresa I'm just a girl who gets convicted often. The Lord deals with me in the inner parts and I can't help but to respond. I just want to be better. Because I know, like my earthly Father, God wants the best for me and FROM me. And many days I CAN do better. So, I'll keep you posted on my job search and current babysitting "gig." God is good.

What were some harder situations for you? And what did God show in that season?

Love me,
Love God.

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