Monday, September 24, 2012
Sharing my Love.
****Okay so the topic of parenting has been on my mind heavy! I'm going to be very transparent here...There are times when I'm not sure how to share my love with everybody! More specifically with God.
I have 3 children under 3 and I stay home with them everyday. That's my FULL time job! No joke when I say FULL time, I mean FULL time lol. There isn't a lot of down time in my day. There is constant cleaning, cooking, and correcting. All day. I do get time to myself when my kids nap, maybe an hour or two and this is when it gets complicated. What am I supposed to do with this time?????? Let me go over my options-
B) Start on dinner
D) Catch up with friends & call distraction free orrrr make important calls (setting appts etc)
G) Read my bible
I) Eat (most days I haven't eaten lunch by this time)
J) Relax-do nothing productive
Everyday I'm faced with one of these options, A through J. Most days I'm exhausted mentally so I do J) lol. Nothing too important. I just want to relax. Lately I've been catching up on lunch, blogging, and exercising. But I miss out on intimate time with God. I need it-it affects my mood directly. I've just been wondering are there any super moms out there who can pay attention to all these areas? I want to pray and read and learn new scriptures. I want to do a lot of things. I need to spend more quality time with my kids during the day but it's hard when my to do list is so longggg! And cleaning is a must; if you let it go for just a second the house is in ruins haha. Toddlers will do that. There has been days when the holy spirit will lead me to go spend time with my kids..."as unto the Lord" I hear. I know last year my husband told me he was feeling bad about his lack of time spent with God and was going to go try and read his Word and the holy spirit told him to spend time with our son. It was unto HIM, so it was as if he was spending time with God. Kind of like what I'm talking about...
I just don't want to spend everyday feeling bad that I didn't reach the mark or I somehow failed again. I know we all mess up but I really wish I could hear God audibly tell me "It's Okay."
I went through a period where I looked at my kids like they were in the way. Like I should be out in those streets helping people and the urgency of ministry. I gotta do this & that and I need sitters blah blah blah. So I know the truth of the matter is that they are my FIRST ministry. Well, children and husband together. I'm responsible for them right now. I had peace about putting my desires on hold and really caring for my kids. I guess now I'm just wondering how is my time & energy split between God, husband, children, church and friends? I'm really not sure?
Psalm 90:12 says "So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."
~Valuing the time we do have by using it for eternal purposes~
I know God is a God of LOVE. He created US in HIS image, He loves marriage and He adores children! He created the family unit and knew how much love, time & energy would have to go into these relationships. I really believe that so why do I feel so guilty sometimes? My goal is to pursue God even more, somehow/someway through everything else I have to do. Time with Him sustains me. I've just fallen away from routines when life gets more than busy. My walk with Christ WITH a family of 4 more looks a lot different than it did when it was just me. Lord, I need your wisdom, peace and grace for this season.....
Mamas around the world please drop me a line or two (or 10 lol) and describe what life looks life in your home :) Do you have peace about your different roles???