Sunday, September 9, 2012


Honor: [on-er]-to hold in honor or high respect; revere

So I wake up this morning, another day (thank you Lord);family headed to church. Nothing out of the ordinary. Service was flowing as usual :) great word from my pastor Brian Williams. As we're praying out, he invites a guest to come speak,minister, pray whatever he feels led to do. So pretty much the Glory of God is reigning in this place-tears of conviction, love, & admiration are flowing down my face. I'm thinking O, Lord I'm not worthy of you but THANK YOU for knowing me, for caring for me! 

Pretty much something I often recite to my Father. So the atmosphere is thick and we're all just crying out, hand raised up towards heaven just lost in His love. The minister starts speaking again and said something so profound, something I will never forget. He said (I'm paraphrasing here, sorry I forgot word 4 word) all this taking place right now, all this raining down could not have been opened up without Honor. 

He told us we had honor for him & he was able to flow & basically operate in his gifts. Immediately, the holy spirit spoke and brought my husband to my mind. We have not consistenly flowed in the spirit yet because it first begins with Honor. Honor means to revere, to have high respect for. I cried & cried. My husband cannot get to where he needs to be with the Lord & on this earth without first having his wife's reverance & respect! God spoke so clear to me...

October 13th will be our 5 year anniversary. We have been through soooo much! From the very beginning it's been a rough journey. I have learned so much from the Lord through the hard times. You see, I am a woman who has grown up around "tough" men, very strong & opiniated men. These traits that I am now trying to tame have done much damage in my marriage. I have been pushy, over-powering, and just mean at times. When my husband & I got married I expected to be hand in hand preaching all over the world! Lol. Okay maybe not exactly but you get what I'm saying.

I wanted him to lead me and teach me and strengthen my walk. Lead prayer, lead fasting, lead bible studies. Yes all that! So as you might have guessed, this was not what happened after we said, "I do."
In my anger & disappointment I continually put him down, let him know every chance I got that he wasn't reaching my needs. I yelled & yelled about how he was wasting his time and really mine. Basically I used my words to rip him apart :( I hardly ever built him up. All I knew was he wasn't who I thought I married. He wasn't the guy I envisioned, I needed, or desired. It's hard to write about this because I still can't believe I did that to him-the one who I LOVED. Yep him. He was to blame for our stand still. He wasn't leading us anywhere.

So you can imagine what I was going through when I heard the word of the Lord speak this morning at church. The presence of God was so thick among us, the Holy Spirit was flowing throughout, and the songs & joy suffocated us! All because there was Honor and there was Humility. The two things that I have failed to do in my own home, in my marriage: Honor my man of God. 
~~ “If you want a truly fine husband, respect him at the level at which you want him to reach. A man will usually not rise above the level at which his wife respects him.”

Father, I just thank you right now for your word! I thank you that though I feel like I've wasted 5 years of our marriage complaining and blaming, you are a God of restoration. You are faithful to your children. You are right now teaching me what it means to honor, what it means to show my husband respect. Through you, I can do all things. I can lift him up and believe in all that YOU have for him. I could very well be the reason your Glory hasn't manifested consistenly in my house.

 How can two walk together except they agreed? (Amos 3:3)  
If I don't even agree that he has a powerful calling on his life & that he was born to lead his family into eternity how can we walk together?  If his wife never believes in him, how can he believe in himself??? It begins with me.
 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 corinthians 13:7)

Lord, show me how to let my husband lead me upward to our higher calling. Show me how to quietly follow him . Show me how to have his back. Father remind me that Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). I have faith in his gifts, his assignments & callings. His God given abilities to lead us closer to you. I have faith in what I cannot yet see & I whole heartedly believe it what you have ordained to be!This is what it means to Honor.

Love me, 
Love God.

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