Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Examine My Heart Lord!

Recently I've been thinking of my Blog and the possibilities of outreach. I'm not going to lie the thought of doing this full time and getting paid through it is really exciting. Don't get me wrong if I never got paid for it, I would still do it. I love it. Sharing. Helping. I would do it all day. And I think we all have that one thing (or more) that we could do it for free. And for me it's helping

However, we are now a family of 5 on one income and the possibility of doing what I love and getting paid for it is like I said-exciting. So In thinking of this, I'm praying to God, "Lord examine my heart." I don't want people to idolize me and what I have to say. I don't want to steal your glory for what I have to say. Because every trial, every revelation and experience is from Him. I'm literally nothing apart from Him. (John 15:5)
"Every good and perfect gift is from above,"...James 1:17
Apart of me is weary of social media: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc. etc. because I know my flesh. I know the nature of man. If you're not careful you can be self-absorbed. It's a slow fade. It happens to pastors all the time. Big time authors, ministers and life coaches. It can happen to anyone with a big following. That's why I speak so much about being humble. God gives grace to the humble! (james 4:6) I want Him to be able to trust me with His people, not use them for my own satisfaction!

It's a Catch 22 because you ultimately want to share your story(ies). You want to help others and you need them to read it in order to be helped by you. But sometimes I feel like Lord, let whoever YOU know needs a word of encouragement find me. And other days I'm tempted to "push" my blog and get it exposed. But in my heart, I do believe in God's timing and His way of doing things. 
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD." As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8,9

I want a platform to display God's grace in my Life. His intricate will for my family & I. I don't need to be the best. I just have to be me. Pray that my heart stays pure and that I keep my eyes on Him. I dont' want to get caught up in social media world and followers. I guess if I get a lot of exposure, it wouldn't be a bad thing for God? Keep me in prayer as God continues to move in my life and a little ol' blog :) I'm not the focus, I'm just the vessel. If you can look at me and STILL see God, then I've done my job.....

p.s. I'm so excited I found another blog :) I've read about 3 of her posts today, but this one in particular articulates exactly what I'm expressing here...enjoy!

p.s.s This is another posting about what's been on my heart in terms of ministry. Enjoy!

Love me,
Love God.

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