Friday, September 14, 2012

It's a Baby.

    I am not writing this to shake anyone up. I am not writing this with anger in my heart, rather the opposite. I come in Love. This is not a debate, nor is it a bashing session. What I want to talk about are the almost 4,000 babies being killed each day in the United States alone. It's awkward to even say "killed" but I've come to a place where I just have to say what it is no matter who I may offend.  That's what abortion is. To fail, cease or stop something prematurely. 

The most hurtful part about the topic of abortions is that I cannot understand how we even got to a place where we can debate back & forth, over & over whether or not we have the "right" to kill a baby. It's not that I can't sympathize with the 1% of abortions that are from medical, incest, or rape cases. I can. I just can't wrap my head around the fact we're debating life. Like real life! How in the world can we even justify that  women have the right to kill their babies? How is that legal? I just don't understand the difference between a baby at 8 weeks with a beating heart and a baby out of the womb at 8 weeks also with a beating heart? Where is the justification? Because they both are alive! I didn't just come on here to vent (which would be okay seeing as it is my blog ;) but I came to share my story.....

I am not some big political person who sides with the republican party and bashes women's rights for a living. I don't I am a woman whose eyes have been opened. At the ages of 17,18, and 19 I had abortions. I bet your thinking, "wow that's a lot." And you would be correct yes it is. Three lives I ended in three years. Why? Selfishness. That's all it comes down to. I put my self before another. I did not want my "reputation" to be ruined, blurred or bashed. Smh.  

When I found out I was pregnant I knew in those first seconds that this is what I had to do. No question about it. No conviction to it. It was my senior year in highschool-I had to. Number 2 & 3 came & went just as fast as the first one. I couldn't mess up what I had going on. I was a "good" girl, I had goals, I was going to college I couldn't be "one of them." "I was different." But, I really wasn't. I was another young, selfish, lost and broken girl. I put men before anything else. If they wanted to lay with me-fine. If they didn't want to commit to me-fine. I compromised everything I cared about for "moments" yes brief moments of satisfaction. I would cry out to God and ask why? why do I keep doing this? Why can't I stop? I couldn't. 

After I would have an abortion I would go back to having unprotected sex.  So you see, this isn't about a woman's right to her own body. This is about women and men wanting the option to not deal with their consequences if we can even call a baby that. You know what I mean. Like I said it's too easy. Men that I "dealt" with told me straight up if I was to get pregnant we would just get an abortion. That hurt me a lot! It was nothing for them to get rid of a baby, our baby! Those years and decisions took a lot out of me emotionally and physically. Life doesn't go on as usual after things like that.

Before I had an abortion, I didn't know what I thought about them. Most of me thought is was wrong because that's what I heard. I knew God to some extent back then so I figured it was supposed to be wrong? But, as soon as it happened to me it felt like I had to do it. I didn't care if it was wrong. Looking back at it now and at the thousands of other abortions that take place, that's the problem-it's TOO easy to do. And I would say that most women that do do it, like myself, choose to do it because we never once take hold to the fact that it's a real baby in our womb. It's one of those things that we kind of think, "out of sight, out of mind." Not literally, but kind of. It's easier to dispose of because we can't actually see the baby moving or hear any talking. So it's more acceptable than if it was a "real" baby. But that's the thing-it is a Real baby. It has fingers and cute little toes and a tiny little heart. It's alive! 

Almost 10 years later God has opened my eyes to see what I couldn't see before. The precious, beautiful and perfect little babies that are in a woman's womb who all have purpose regardless of how they were conceived. Babies are innocent, they have nothing to do with how they got here; they just got here.  In our day we punish the baby because of what the rapist did? How does that even make sense? The one that committed the crime lives and the bystander dies. I don't know how it feels to be in this situation (I'm sorry for anyone who had to go through this) but I do know someone who has and still chose to keep her baby. It was tough for her & her husband to walk through that but they loved that child :) with God all things are possible. I promise you that. God promises you that! 

I know I have been forgiven & by His grace I don't deal with any guilt or shame. I am beyond blessed beyond grateful that though I made some really bad decisions, He still allowed me to have 3 more children. No miscarriages. No complications. Just 3 more healthy children. I'm crying now because I can't even understand His goodness. Who can? It's as if I never had them. He just gave me 3 more.

 My plea to you is that you will at least ask God to see abortion the way He does. More importantly that you would see LIFE the way He does. In our own logic we can't make sense of all this. We don't have a heart for people in the capacity that God does. We have to ask Him to renew our minds. The bible says when we seek Him with our whole heart, we WILL find Him! And when we do, we will forever be changed. We won't just be arguing with people in vain and we definitely won't be people who say nothing about it but we would actually start to grieve for the thousands of babies who die every day!

Remember we are not talking about women's rights here, we are talking about Life. Woman, baby, man, child, old; young. The right to Live. People often scream equal rights!!!...well this is not equal. This is declaring a woman's life is more valuable than a baby's. And I cannot support this theory. I am NOT more worthy than anyone else on this earth. I am not judging any woman who has done this or who believes it is okay to do this. God is the judge. Not I. I just invite you to seek the Lord. If this has happened to you, there is forgiveness from our Father, there can be peace thereafter...God can take away any guilt or shame you may be dealing with.

1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 
Isaiah 43:25-26  "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.  Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case for your innocence.  
Acts 3:19 "Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,"
Isaiah 1:18 "Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." 
2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
Ephesians 1:7 "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace." 
Hebrews 10:17 Then he adds: "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more."  
Daniel 9:9 "The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him"

And these are just a few. God is sooo good! He created all of Heaven and Earth! Whatever you are going through He is willing and able to get you through it. He can be the Father for that child or the help for you. He'll bring you help! He loves every baby conceived and He most definitely loves every woman carrying that baby mistakes and all! John 3:16--God GAVE up His only son for us; me and you. Through God we can also do this. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 For our friends, spouse, children; whoever. It takes faith and it takes courage!

Here's a good website(s) for more information: and also on my husband's website there is a song called "Voice from the womb." It's amazing :)

My 3 blessings :)

Love me,
Love God

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