What can I say? Well, when I say it's been a journey-I mean just that. A journey that consists of rivers, mountains, valleys, hills and plains. Not all good and definitely not all bad. There are times of "skipping" along down a fun, pretty slope and then at times you look up & it's cold. Cold, muddy and you can barely see that you are hiking up a ferocious mountain.
You see when you're engaged, you can't fathom any of the darkness. Just like when you don't have kids, you can't even imagine the fatigues that comes from waking up every two hours! But it comes. All you can see is what's in front of you-Love & acceptance. You cannot see next year or five years down the road. As far as your little hopeful heart can tell-this person can Never do you any harm.
But they will. They, like any other human being on this earth are more than capable of hurting you. Rejecting you. Using you. And all of the above. And I don't want you to think I'm writing from a bitter place; I'm not. But, rather a Real place-a place of Love. Because Love doesn't always feels good; it sometimes comes in the form of correction. Ask your parents. Or if you are a parent, you know what I'm talking about ;)
So what am I saying? I'm saying marriage is Hard! It's really Hard! When I see couples celebrating 30,40,50 years of marriage I'm like- Wow! That act of loyalty, perseverance, and commitment is nothing less than amazing! A good marriage is not one that consists of two best friends (nijel is still not my best friend) who seem to agree with everything or do everything the other asks of them. I have come to know a good marriage is simply one that doesn't give up.
Regardless of the times where you can't "see" down the road because you're so hurt & angry, you choose NOT to give up. And even if you say "I give up" (I've been there) you really don't. You hold on, even if just by a thread. You hold on because God is your hope. You hold on because you remember God putting it on your heart that this is the person you are to care for, love unconditionally, and be gracious to.
Oh how I wish I could go back and stand at the altar again & really understand the vows I declared on my wedding day. We all recite "Until death do us part" and we smile :) having no real clue that that means exactly what it says! In our 7 years, I've felt what seems like death. And I'm sure you all can't imagine that! Lol not those Mills! Yes, us. Dark times.
But here we are. Picked up each & every time by the one True, Living God. And today we are celebrating 7 whole years of not giving up. 7 years of growing, learning, and making choices. Some good, some bad. And I can honestly I'm glad to be here Today. I'm glad we held on. Throughout it all, I'm glad there was enough God in us to stick it out. I'm glad there were enough prayers from our friends to give us that extra grace.
Sometimes the joy won't come directly from each other, but through God-knowing that He was there to cover you. The joy is in each new year of celebration. It's in the fact that there was hard work put in & the reward is another anniversary. And today that is what's celebrated-7 years of work. 7 years of two imperfect people being perfected by God in order to walk this life out Together.
Working hard for something or someone is always worth it. You appreciate it more because it is EARNED- it has value. And marriage has value. It is a prize. Because today people fall in love, work hard and then find out that their partner isn't so loving and then they stop working hard. And then there is no motivation to labor. So it's over. Let me just tell you, your motivation to labor in marriage isn't always your spouse. At first it might be, but when they let you down and show you who they really are; you'll be uninspired. Your motivation will always be Jesus. His perfect Love for you and your spouse will have to be your motivation to keep going! He has sacrificed everything He has, for nothing in return just to show His love for you.
He gave to us before we gave him anything. When you get married there will be plenty of times that you will have to give to your spouse without receiving anything in return. Let our Father be your inspiration to keep striving for Love. I have learned Love truly does cover a multitude of sins ( 1 Peter 4:8 ). It protects one another, it accepts imperfection and cares. There is a difference between allowing someone to use you & step all over you and understanding God's way of marriage is unconditional. It is giving each other enough grace to figure this life out. Because we will change in this lifetime; only God stays constant.
My husband made me a card this morning and it says,
"Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle."
Where there is LOVE, there is a way. A way to start over and start fresh. A way to forgive and sometimes forget. This is God's love. It makes a way out of no way. It keeps giving. It's full of hope. It's so beautiful. It is that stunning red rose amongst thorns. God's love stands out.
Today marks 7 years. They say 7 is the number of completion. Do I feel completed? Hardly. But, it doesn't matter. I will still rejoice with my husband and celebrate the grace of God that's been on our lives :) He is the reason we now have 7 under our belt. Thank you Nijel for doing your part & not giving up. You are awesome for that! It's takes a strong willed man to keep going & keep your vows and I appreciate your courage in doing so. Love you goofy man! Keep your goofiness-it keeps you young ;) When I'm all old & wrinkled; full of sarcasm you can keep me on my toes and crack my frown! Lol. I hardly say it, but you are quite remarkable for choosing to stay with me & love me. God bless you, surely your reward is in heaven-haha love ya.
Happy 7 years Mr. Nijel-we done made it!!!
October 13, 2006