****Okay so the topic of parenting has been on my mind heavy! I'm going to be very transparent here...There are times when I'm not sure how to share my love with everybody! More specifically with God.
I have 3 children under 3 and I stay home with them everyday. That's my FULL time job! No joke when I say FULL time, I mean FULL time lol. There isn't a lot of down time in my day. There is constant cleaning, cooking, and correcting. All day. I do get time to myself when my kids nap, maybe an hour or two and this is when it gets complicated. What am I supposed to do with this time?????? Let me go over my options-
Do I???
A) Clean
B) Start on dinner
C) Nap
D) Catch up with friends & call distraction free orrrr make important calls (setting appts etc)
E) Exercise
F) Pray
G) Read my bible
H) Blog
I) Eat (most days I haven't eaten lunch by this time)
J) Relax-do nothing productive
Everyday I'm faced with one of these options, A through J. Most days I'm exhausted mentally so I do J) lol. Nothing too important. I just want to relax. Lately I've been catching up on lunch, blogging, and exercising. But I miss out on intimate time with God. I need it-it affects my mood directly. I've just been wondering are there any super moms out there who can pay attention to all these areas? I want to pray and read and learn new scriptures. I want to do a lot of things. I need to spend more quality time with my kids during the day but it's hard when my to do list is so longggg! And cleaning is a must; if you let it go for just a second the house is in ruins haha. Toddlers will do that. There has been days when the holy spirit will lead me to go spend time with my kids..."as unto the Lord" I hear. I know last year my husband told me he was feeling bad about his lack of time spent with God and was going to go try and read his Word and the holy spirit told him to spend time with our son. It was unto HIM, so it was as if he was spending time with God. Kind of like what I'm talking about...
I just don't want to spend everyday feeling bad that I didn't reach the mark or I somehow failed again. I know we all mess up but I really wish I could hear God audibly tell me "It's Okay."
I went through a period where I looked at my kids like they were in the way. Like I should be out in those streets helping people and the urgency of ministry. I gotta do this & that and I need sitters blah blah blah. So I know the truth of the matter is that they are my FIRST ministry. Well, children and husband together. I'm responsible for them right now. I had peace about putting my desires on hold and really caring for my kids. I guess now I'm just wondering how is my time & energy split between God, husband, children, church and friends? I'm really not sure?
Psalm 90:12 says "So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."
~Valuing the time we do have by using it for eternal purposes~
I know God is a God of LOVE. He created US in HIS image, He loves marriage and He adores children! He created the family unit and knew how much love, time & energy would have to go into these relationships. I really believe that so why do I feel so guilty sometimes? My goal is to pursue God even more, somehow/someway through everything else I have to do. Time with Him sustains me. I've just fallen away from routines when life gets more than busy. My walk with Christ WITH a family of 4 more looks a lot different than it did when it was just me. Lord, I need your wisdom, peace and grace for this season.....
Mamas around the world please drop me a line or two (or 10 lol) and describe what life looks life in your home :) Do you have peace about your different roles???
Omigosh! When I read this I see myself...lol! I work from home (min of 4 hrs/day) with 3 kids (14, 9 & 3) plus we recently took in my 3 yr old niece. So, on a normal day while the older two are at school and the hubby is at work, it's me and the two 3 yr olds. Very busy indeed!
ReplyDeleteI'll just share what God has shown me with trying to balance my time with Him, hubby, kids, house, work, church/ministry work, etc. It's Mary vs. Martha. Our time with Jesus can NOT be replaced by anything, no matter how much we think it is necessary. Ministry for a wife and mother, of course, begins at home. God told me over 3 yrs ago to disciple my children. Very important! I have a zeal for Jesus that always seems to lead me seeking to do great works for Him outside of the home, but I have to bring myself into remembrance that what He has called me to first is right in front of me. Faithful in the little things and He brings the rest. I think as people, in general, it makes us feel good, feel like we're "doing for" God when we are out in the mix, spreading the gospel, etc. But Jesus says about Martha (who was the busy one around the house) and Mary (who sat at His feet), "But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:42). When life comes at us from all directions, what we gain by spending time at the feet of Jesus cannot be taken away and it will actually carry us through those hard times (that DO come).
I would encourage you to either get up an hr or so before the kids or go to bed after them and devote that time just to Jesus. I prefer the mornings because it sets a good tone for the day. I make sure to get in the Word and spend time in prayer. If you get a daily routine started, it helps. My husband and I have also come to understand that each of us needs that time with Jesus, so when he's home it's a little easier for me to go lock myself away in the prayer closet. Maybe work something like that out with your hubby. We do a nightly (most nights that we're not at church) Bible study with the kids (just read a chapter or so and talk about it). Yours are pretty young, but they may engage to a small degree with reading a Bible story. It's good family time and keeps ya in the word.
During the day, if you do something like sit down with the kids and have lunch WITH them, then you are not only spending time with them but feeding yourself (a necessity) as well. Do what you can around the house, etc. with what time you have and know that none of us is "super mom". If all the laundry isn't done and the floors spotless, it will be ok...lol! Devil might jump on your shoulder and tell ya otherwise, but that same devil likes to busy us into spiritual death. You sound like a bit of a perfectionist which really fuels us in the kingdom, but it tends to also lead us into works as opposed to just abiding in Jesus. And...sorry this is long lol...you can be with Jesus all throughout the day. Keep your worship music on, even pray in the Spirit (tongues) while you're doing your daily stuff. I pray, worship, praise God all while doing laundry, working, dishes, etc. I used to joke that my daughter was gonna speak in tongues before english...haha! It takes a little discipline at first to get a routine down, but it is SO worth it. Jesus is a resting place. When I start to feel overwhelmed, usually the first thing I've lost is my time in that resting place. Then I pray for Him to show me what is OF HIM and what can be set aside. Only what's OF HIM in our lives really matters anyway. It's the Spirit that gives life (even in our daily routines), the flesh profits nothing. You may start to find that on your daily run-arounds...grocery store, park, etc...God will give you plenty of opportunity to be used to share His love and truth.
Hope that helps ya out. Love in Christ Sis! :)
Thank you sooo much Amanda, I was hoping I would hear from you since I read your statuses and wonder what your life was looking like over you way :) I like that, "Faithful in the little things and He brings the rest." Lord knows I want to help ppl and do this & that and I do have to remember my "job" now isn't any less than that one or this one. It may at times seem less glamorous to the world but it's very important! Raising up our kids and introducing them to our Heavenly Father! You're right it does something for us that we're "doing" something. God has told me to sit down so many times and just BE. Enjoy Him. And He used the Martha & MAry story to help me. SO many women have told me to get up early lol and I just have yet to do it consistently. I'm always telling God how tired I am and I'm catching up from waking up with my 3 mth old etc etc. But I can honestly say the times I have sacrificed were some of my best days :) I don't think I'm a perfectionist at all, but something about the house being neat mentally makes me feel more in order. I think when I used to actually work from home with the 2 kids I could never get anything done with the house. So it was exhaustion from work and kids plus the house was wrecked! So I was buried 5 feet under lol so I think if the house is together enough I feel more in order? When I start to feel overwhelmed, usually the first thing I've lost is my time in that resting place." I totally agree, feeling that lately. Thanks again so much, please feel free to share anytime-I def appreciate it, lots of love
DeleteYou have asked the trillion dollar question and I think many of us are still trying to figure it out but I think the answer is "clear as mud" if you get my drift. The man asked in Luke 10:27 how can I inherit eternal life and Jesus asked him what does it say in the law, and the man answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself. Jesus has blessed up with many wonderful things and he came that we may have life and have it to the fullest but our whole purpose is to know and love him. He brings children in our lives so we can know and love him, he brings us a husband so we can know and love him, he gives us friends so we can know and love him. Everything is for his glory when we become Christians. 1 Corth 10:31 says So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. A part from God we are able to do nothing. He gives us strength to be a good mother, wife, daughter, sister and when we love the gifts more than the giver then things will get out of balance. I struggle with this too as a single mother because I feel like their aren't enough hours in a day but God told me last year that love will make a way. Meaning that if I truly love him then I will find time to spend with him. Jesus sustains us and a part from him we are weak and unable to do a good job so spending time with him fills us up. It is a sacrifice to get up early before the kids do and stay up later after they go to bed to spend some time with Jesus. But I think when we take the time to do it then he feels us with love and joy and strength to keep on and he blesses are time with the children, doing housework, and even resting. We find more time, when we give time to the King. Also it is the position of the heart. When we keep our mind and hearts stayed on him all throughout the day and we pray while doing our chores then it gives us a longing for him to sit at his feet and we desire him even more. I'm understand your frustrations because this is me too but God is our FIRST love and we must keep him first in everything we do. Remember there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus so don’t feel guilty just pray and ask God to give you a heart that longs to spend time and seek him. Maybe you can go on prayer walks after Ni comes home or after the kids go to bed to sneak in some time with Jesus. I usually read my bible and talk to God after the kids are in bed. I really need to get up early and spend some time with him before work. We are all a work progress, so enjoy the journey of becoming more like Christ. Jesus made us moms and the holy spirit makes us SUPER-MOMS.
ReplyDeleteDee dee!!!!
DeleteI think my flesh looks for a way out at times, but true love is in action or deed. It almost takes nothing to say I love you and I'm really just going to have to step out in faith and get going with my time spent with God. That's my first love! It gets tricky at night bc I'm usually finishing up what I couldn't do with the kids up, exercising while they sleep or trying to catch up with hubby since I haven't seen him all day. I think I will pray for a balance, peace and grace bc yes Jesus came so that we can have life more abundantly, not to be in condemnation. Yes and what a wonderful journey it is....luv ya good ending line too ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piDU443CdvI&feature=related
ReplyDeleteshort little 2 minute video...the last statements got me ;) being faithful
Very insightful and inspiring, Jewel. I found myself getting overwhelmed with work, cooking, cleaning, mothering, wifing (made up a word, lol). Namely these past two days I've been having strong emotional reactions to everything! In addition to needing a break, which I rarely get living so far from my family, I need some spiritual food-so, I hear ya! Balance is something that isn't achieved once but regained after various times of imbalance. This is that time for you. But this too shall pass and your equilibrium will be restored! You're doing well!
ReplyDeletelol i like wifing ;) Yes that's great, regained and regained..thanks for your post! You were Also made for this :)
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